Everyone has a busy life. We juggle work, career, family and friends and attempt to find the balance. If you’re single and are currently using a dating site to find potential partners, that’s one more thing you need to juggle. Dating is an important aspect of your social life and we all need to take a break from the work grind. So it’s a good thing if you’re actually out there looking on dating sites and meeting new people. But if you’re too stressed out to enjoy yourself, you may be ruining your chances of ever finding romance.
Finding a balance is not easy. And like everything else, it takes work. But what we don’t want more of in our lives is work. We want our relationships to be fun and easy. Unfortunately, we carry our stress with us wherever we go. If something at work has you worried or upset, it’s difficult to release that when you go on a date. On the other hand, if you spend the entire date venting about the difficulties you have at work, that date will not stick around for long. No one wants to be around a complaining, negative person. They may want to show you support, but they are probably dealing with similar stress issues.
So what should you do? You definitely need to be upfront with your new partner if you’re having a particular difficult time with work. Explain to him that you’re under a lot of pressure and though you want to spend time with him, there may be issues that you’re dealing with that take priority. But you must remember that you cannot let your job consume your life. Therefore, it is imperative that you carve out some down time for yourself. If being alone will be more therapeutic than going on a date, than you need to find some time to be alone. If, however, you do want company, you should make a pact with yourself that you won’t discuss work issues while you’re on your date. If these issues should come up in conversation, tell him that you’re not willing to ruin your wonderful time together by discussing things that could potentially put a damper on the evening. He’ll be grateful for that.
If you realize you have nothing to discuss other than work issues, you may want to take a step back and give some thought to whether or not you’re obsessing over work. Or perhaps you’re a workaholic and simply cannot let it go. These issues will certainly be a detriment to any long-term relationship you are looking to pursue. Sometimes you need to be willing to put your work on the back burner in order to find the other pleasures that life has to offer. If this is a recurring issue for you and past relationships have fallen by the wayside because of your passion for your work, you may want to consider speaking with a therapist about how to handle your stress.
It’s important to find time to shut down and give your focus and attention to the people who care about you. Make your dating life just that and nothing more. Create boundaries that don’t include talking or thinking about work when you are on a date. Use that time to relax and enjoy the companionship of another person who has nothing to do with your job. You will feel better, keep your social relationships alive, and you’ll probably be more effective when you do turn your focus to your work.
About the Author: Debbie Lamedman is a highly sought after dating expert. She frequently writes informative article for Dating Site.org